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I was more myself ... more in control. I wasn't sure if I was more in control of the situation, but I was of myself and my emotions. I vowed not to lose my head in the heat of the moment again. Megan's comment about me being in charge somehow added to my sense of calm."So, there we are, Meg. Whatcha' wanna do now?"I then noticed that some of her bravado had ebbed since this morning and from the level it had reached in the last few days. She wasn't calling the shots. I reminded myself not to take advantage of that and swing the pendulum too far the other way either."I don't know, Mom. It just feels nice being here with you like this." To me too, Sweetie," I replied.We just sat there for a few minutes not saying anything. We looked at the fire. We looked at each other. We took in the first peaceful moments that the two of us had experienced alone together in a long, long time. Finally I very gently attempted to move things forward and see what might happen.I slipped my thumb under the. Blood started to return to my fingers as I shook them about to aid circulation. My fingers were still whitened from the lack of blood when my friends two large dogs came running into the kitchen. For those of you who are not familiar with my previous fantasies, their names were Frank and Beansjust to be clear, this is not a joke, she actually named them Frank and Beans. Hey guys, I said as they rushed over to me. I pet them for a few minutes until they got bored and ran off. After putting the groceries away, I headed over to the living room and plunked myself down in front of the TV. Grabbing the remote, I flicked through the channel until I came across a show that felt like less of a waste of time than the others I had passed on. Unfortunately, I only had a few moments of peace before Beans trotted into the living room and made it his mission to bug me. Do not get me wrong, I like dogsin fact, I love them ,)but I was not in the mood for playing. Why dont you go play with your.
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